


Love Letters!

by Utini501



Category: Cookie Run (Video Game)
Genre: Comedy, F/F, Love Letters, Romance
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-02-14
Updated: 2020-02-14
Packaged: 2021-02-27 18:47:28
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,144
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22530463
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Utini501/pseuds/Utini501
Summary: In which a frustrated, flustered Chili Pepper Cookie tries to write the perfect response to a love letter received from Cotton Candy Cookie. But since she was never the artsy, eloquent type, what's a cookie like her to do? My half of an art trade with my very good friend DragonMarquise on Deviantart.
Relationships: Chili Pepper Cookie/Cotton Candy Cookie (Cookie Run)
Comments: 1
Kudos: 29





	Love Letters!

_'Dear Cotton Candy: That was a nice letter you gave me. Really nice! Smelled nice too-'_

"No no no, what the heck am I doing?! I can't use that..."

_'Dear Cotton Candy: That letter touched my heart. Touched my soul! It lit a big oven inside my-'_

"Ugh, forget it! Way too artsy fartsy!"

_'Hey. That letter of yours was pretty nice. You're pretty nice too, plus you're just plain pretty-'_

"Gah, who am I even kidding? This is _so stupid!_ "

After crumpling up her latest sad attempt at a letter, the rambunctious red-haired bandit known to all and sundry as Chili Pepper Cookie flung it onto an enormous pile of scrapped letters with a huff before falling flat on her back and groaning in defeat. 

"Man, I give up! Over five thousand pages, and I just can't come up with the perfect response! Gah, this is why I hate writing!"

Indeed, from the time she was freshly baked up until right now, Chili Pepper was not much of a wordsmith. Her spicy, gingery mind was always focused on thievery, treasure hunting, and all the ways she could put a cool, memorable spin on her latest heist. Raiding Cheesecake Cookie's coin pool? Stripping Mint Choco Cookie's house bare under the guise of a home decorator? Tricking Devil Cookie into making a bargain that only benefited her? They were all a cinch. But as far as writing went, she was so bad at it that she couldn't even scribble down a single thought in her diary! And had she received a letter from literally any other cookie (Aside from her brother. _M_ _aybe_ ) she wouldn't have bothered writing back.

Except the letter she got was from Cotton Candy Cookie.

And it was _beautiful._

_"Dear Chili Pepper: I have heard the townsfolk say all kinds of horrible things about you! They say that you're a scoundrel, a scalawag, a rascal... and to be fair, you **are** a notorious thief. And yet, when I've had the fortune to see you in action, I find myself at a loss for words! The way your fiery locks billow in the air as you leap from rooftops and out of windows makes me swoon! That mischievous grin of yours oozes so much confidence that it takes my breath away! In fact, just looking at your wanted posters makes me feel all fluttery and dizzy... you must truly be a master thief, because you have stolen my heart! As feared and loathed as you are, if you could stir up such strong feelings inside me, surely you can't be all bad! So while I do not endorse your criminal activities, I think it's safe to say that you've won yourself an admirer!"_

_"All the best, Cotton Candy Cookie <3"_

"Seriously, how am I even supposed to respond to that?!" Chili screamed, her face burning hotter than the deserts of Yogurca after rereading that letter for the hundredth time, "It's so beautiful and poetic and... gah, I'm no good with that mushy junk!"

She gave her pile of crumpled up letters a kick, sending them all flying around the forest in an explosion of paper. It was the worst case of littering that had ever graced this beautiful hollow, but Chili was just too flustered to think about such things. She had been ever since she got that dumb, stupid, sappy letter...

"Darn you, Cotton Candy!"

Chili's oath was met with... giggling. Bizarre, slightly loopy giggling that seemed to come from all around her, with a subtle bit of menace that caused a cold shiver to run up her doughy spine.

"Wh-Who's there?!" Chili cried as she drew her trusty chili pepper daggers, "I've shanked a guy before and I'll do it again, I swear it!"

More laughter echoed around her, and Chili could feel a trickle of syrup roll down her forehead as she looked every which way for the unseen giggler. _"Come on... where are you?!"_

The laughter grew louder and harsher, but the speaker gave themselves away when they stumbled through some bushes to Chili's right.

"THERE YOU ARE!"

Chili pounced on her stalker and held a knife to their throat, causing them to cry out in fear.

"AGH! Get off, get off! Hoo hoo, I mean you no harm, just please get off..."

Now that she had a good look at whoever this was, Chili had to admit that they, or rather she, didn't seem like much of a threat. She seemed to be an older cookie, whose hair and dough were sort of an earthy shade of green, and she was dressed in a dirt-brown robe that was far too big for her. And along with a few strands of grass and leaves, she had a pair of downward-facing horns poking out from under her hair that reminded Chili a lot of a sheep. They were a bit intimidating, but Chili felt at ease when she looked at her tired, somewhat unfocused eyes. There was no malice or evil behind them, just... loopiness.

"Well, if you say so... But if you try anything funny, I'll-"

*THWACK!*

Right when Chili got up, the mysterious cookie followed suit and bonked the thief on the head with a thick wooden staff.

"GEEZ! Wha- What the heck is wrong with you?!"

"Ho ho, I could ask you the same question..." the old cookie scolded, pointing her staff accusingly at Chili, "What kind of cookie attacks a defenseless old woman on her daily walk?"

"Well excuse me, _granny_ , but don't you think it's kinda creepy to stalk people and laugh at them?!"

"Ha ha ha... laughing, laughing, _laughing?_ I was not _trying_ to laugh, hee hee! It just... happens." the old cookie snickered, "Though I will admit... pft, cookie-watching can be rather amusing! For instance, you _do_ look a bit silly getting flustered over those letters..."

"Glad I could lighten up your life, grandma," Chili growled, "Now if you're done gawking at me, could you just make like a tree and _buzz off?_ "

"Buzz off? Now why would I do that? Ho ho ho, trees do not buzz..." the old cookie chuckled much to Chili's annoyance, "But if I may be serious, we need to establish a few things. First of all, my name is not grandma: it is Matcha Cookie, hoo hoo... and second of all, I am not intruding on anyone. _You_ are the one intruding, ha ha! I never invited you to my forest, and yet you insist on stomping around, threatening me, and making a horrible mess of the place..."

Matcha Cookie turned towards all the discarded letters and shook her head.

"Though I suppose I cannot blame you... pfffft ho ho, after all, love is a difficult expression to convey on paper, yes?"

Chili flinched and cried out, her pinkish face turning deep crimson as she turned away. "Love?! Who said anything about love?! Y-You're crazy, grandma!"

"Crazy? Hoo hoo, perhaps..." Matcha Cookie teased, "Indeed, perhaps I imagined you blushing as you wrote each letter. Perhaps I imagined you gushing over the beauty of the letter you received. Or perhaps..." Chili gasped as Matcha pulled out a crumpled ball of paper from her robe, "I merely thought I read the tender, loving contents of letters you threw out. The cookie you are pining over has... tee hee, adorably chubby cheeks, I see!"

"GIMME THAT!" 

Matcha cried out in surprise as Chili swiped the letter and stuffed it down her pocket, her face feeling like she had just stuck it in a hot oven as she tried to deny the pinchability of Cotton Candy's cheeks. "I-I-It's just a compliment! There's nothing lovey-dovey about that, I'm just stating a fact!"

"Ha ha... well, I suppose I was mistaken then..." Matcha sighed as she turned around and stared into space. "Perhaps I was merely projecting my own feelings onto you, Miss..."

"Chili Pepper", the thief responded, "But what's this about projecting feelings? You're not... _in love_ with someone, are you?"

"I _was_ , very long ago." Matcha sighed wistfully, "I suppose I still am! It is admittedly hard to tell, my mind is just... all over the place, ha ha! My memory is not quite what it used to be, but some days... memories drift by. Memories of a handsome, dashing cookie who would take me on such wonderful adventures in his flying machine! I can remember the way my heart would soar as we flew over the land, the way I'd giggle when he would smooch me on the cheek, and that ticklish sensation of his little mustache brushing up against me..."

The way Matcha giggled and blushed made Chili feel... incredibly at ease. There was nothing mocking or sarcastic about those feelings, they came straight from the heart. Chili knew that all too well.

"Well... you guys must've been very close!"

Matcha laughed and nodded.

"Indeed we were, young Chili! We were so close that... we had a son, I believe! Sadly, I cannot quite remember what he looked like, or what we even named him... but he had the most charming little laugh, hoo hoo!" Suddenly, Matcha frowned as she stared off into space once more. "I... I just wish I could remember more about him! And my lover, for that matter... I tried asking about them in that nearby village once, but I was chased away with pitchforks and torches! They seemed to think I was a... Dark Enchantress of some kind!"

All of a sudden, Chili felt incredibly uncomfortable. Not because she was offended or weirded out, but... this conversation really took a depressing turn. Whether or not these cookies were real or just figments of the old woman's imagination, Chili couldn't tell. But she _could_ tell that she was distressed all the same, and wasn't sure what she was supposed to do.

"Geez, I'm... sorry to hear that, gr-er, Matcha." Chili apologized sincerely. "Really wish I could make it better, if that's even possible."

"Bwahaha!" Matcha cackled uncontrollably as a single dark green teardrop rolled down her cheek, "It is quite alright, dear. Yes oh yes, quite alright indeed! You need not burden yourself with an old woman's troubles. I may not fully remember my lover or my child, but... I do remember how they made me feel. The warmth, the acceptance, the joy I felt being around them... no amount of dark, smothering mental fog can take that away from me!" She laughed again, only her laughter didn't feel forced or manic, but warm and genuine as she smiled sweetly at Chili and gently rested her staff on her shoulder. "Oh young Chili, thank you kindly for listening to this old cookie reminisce. Rude and rambunctious as you are, there is an undeniable niceness to you!"

"H-Hey! Who're you calling nice?!" Chili growled, flexing her gingerbread muscles and forcing the meanest frown she could muster, "I'm NOT nice, I'm the greatest thief in all the land! I-If you had anything worth stealing, I'd rob you so fast your leafy head would spin!"

"I suppose you would, ho ho! But I doubt this Cotton Candy Cookie you were fretting about would be smitten with you if there was not at least a _tiny_ kernel of goodness inside of you."

"Well, uh..." Chili bashfully rubbed the back of her head, and Matcha Cookie tsk'ed tsk'ed her with what Chili could only describe as "grandmotherly energy".

"Fufufu, there you go again, getting hot... ho ho, well, even hotter under the collar when _she_ is bought up. If dealing with your feelings makes you so uncomfortable, I will not intrude any further, I can promise you that! Now if you will excuse me... I have places to be, and cookies to watch! Hoo hoo, and if I am not mistaken, that musician comes here to practice his violin right about now..." While she mumbled to herself, Matcha turned around and began hobbling off to the darker reaches of the forest, cackling while Chili broke into a cold sweat.

_'Aw, geez! I-Is she really leaving now?! I... I can't afford to look like a lovey dovey sap in front of her but... gah, since she's been in love before, she can probably help me deal with these... feelings...!'_

It was too good of an opportunity to pass up, for once in her life Chili Pepper Cookie checked her pride at the door and frantically chased after Matcha, her hands flailing wildly in the air as she ran.

"Hey, MATCHA! WAIT!"

Matcha gave another genuine giggle as she turned around, smugly folding her arms and grinning as Chili caught up to her.

"Ah ha! I knew you would come after me..." Matcha boasted while Chili blushed and rolled her eyes. "I take it you need something else?"

"Yep. You got me Matcha, I'm... well, I kinda like Cotton Candy. A lot." she mumbled shyly before clearing her throat and speaking loudly once again, "A-And I really, really want to show my appreciation for that letter she wrote me! Problem is... I'm not really good with words. Or emotions. Or... anything artsy-fartsy, really. Can you help me out here? I mean, surely you've written _something_ for that one cookie you had the hots for!"

Happy to have finally gotten through to Chili, Matcha held a floppy sleeve to her mouth and chuckled once again. "Hee hee, oh Chili! Your letter-writing skills are clearly non-existent, so why even bother with them?!"

Chili just stared dumbly at Matcha, caught off guard by her sudden bluntness. 

"I am far from a poet myself, but... hoo hoo, I didn't win my love's heart with letters! I won it with herbal tea, flower arrangements, and sorcery..."

Now Chili was more confused than anything. "Are you saying that I've gotta start garden- YOW!"

Matcha thumped her on the head with her staff again. "Let me finish, you peppery pup!" she scolded, "What I _was_ going to say was... pfft, I heard you reading that letter aloud, and from the sound of things this Cotton Candy Cookie didn't fall in love with a poet. She fell in love with a bold, dashing master thief!

It took a second for Matcha's words of wisdom to sink in, but once it did, Chili gasped in utter shock. She pulled the letter back out and poured over it, blushing furiously as she read over the passages praising her agility and charisma. She really did feel flattered by that kind of praise, but now that she really went and _thought_ about it? She knew exactly how she was going to repay the poetic cookie for her saccharine display of affection. And all it took was staying true to herself...

"Oh my gosh, THANK YOU! Thank you so much, Matcha!"

It was Matcha's turn to be surprised, and she let out a little "Oh!" when Chili Pepper ran sprang forward and caught her with a tackle hug. "Tee hee, my my! I... haven't had one of these in quite some time..."

"Well you deserve more, 'cause you're a lifesaver! Thank you SO MUCH for your help!"

And with that she made a mad dash for the forest's exit, concocting the mother of all master plans as she jumped over fallen logs and ducked under low-reaching tree branches and laughed, knowing that she would win Cotton Candy's affection for sure.

* * *

"Dear Raspberry Mousse Cookie, your swordplay is so... DAZZLING! Your appearance is so... DASHING! And your silver tongue... DAZZLING- no! Goodness no, I can't repeat myself like that!"

When Cotton Candy entered her house, Chili Pepper Cookie could feel her palms sweating like crazy, staining the pastel pink walls of Cotton Candy Cookie's kitchen with chili sauce as she perched herself in the top right corner of the room. Her flour heart was thundering, and the fear of slipping, falling, and ruining her cool entrance was crushing. But she couldn't let her iron will crumble: the time to act and sweep the lovey-dovey cookie off her feet was _now._ Especially since she was now writing love letters to other cookies, specifically that "dipstick dandy", as Chili loved to call Raspberry Mousse. And she'd be darned if she was going to let such a cute cookie's heart wander off in _that_ goody two-shoes' general direction.

_'Besides, aren't he and White Choco a thing? Come on, C.C.: quit wasting your time and grab a snack already!'_

"Hmm... perhaps I should grab something to eat before I continue writing! A few bites of carrot cake does wonders for the brainstorming process, after all!"

Chili Pepper giggled quietly, impressed by her uncanny sense of timing.

_'Heh heh! Any second now...'_

Cotton Candy Cookie entered the kitchen, and Chili swallowed down a nervous lump as she tried not to be distracted by her wonderfully bouncy mane of fluffy pink hair. The dainty cookie whistled cheerfully as she opened the fridge... only to go slack-jawed as she saw that it had been completely cleaned out.

"Oh my goodness!" Cotton Candy gasped, holding her hands to her mouth, "My food... what happened to it?! Please don't tell me that Moon Rabbit Cookie got into it again..."

"Nope, no bunny rabbits this time! Just _me_."

Chili leaped down from her perch and landed right behind Cotton Candy, who gasped and turned around. The mere sight of the redheaded rapscallion folding her arms and grinning smugly caused her to stagger backwards in surprise while her heart-shaped eyes pounded like crazy.

"O-O-Oh my goodness, Chili Pepper Cookie! Y-You're the culprit?!"

"You bet I am, C.C," Chili boasted, pointing proudly at her face in the process, "Broke in and swiped it all an hour ago!"

"Oh wow... that must have taken s-such skill!" C.C. cooed, physically swooning before shaking her head. "ACK! B-But why?! Why would you go through the trouble of stealing something as mundane as food? That's so unlike you!"

"Eh, I wouldn't say that," Chili scoffed, "I'm the hunt for something more valuable than _any_ treasure."

"Oh? Well what would that be?" C.C. asked, only to be met with a "Shush!" from Chili.

"It's a surprise! But don't worry, you're going to find out _really_ soon!"

"Soon? What do you- oh my goodness!"

Just as she had planned, Chili Pepper quite literally swept Cotton Candy Cookie off her feet, carrying her bridal style and blushing a vivid scarlet as she enjoyed just how soft her poofy pink dress felt to the touch. C.C. swooned once more, and Chili couldn't deny that she wanted to do the same. But that would come later.

"Hold on tight, C.C! This is gonna be a wild ride!"

"Such strength, such speed! Oh, my heart..."

And with that, Chili Pepper made a mad dash for the front door, kicked it open, and literally ran for the hills: specifically a rather steep eastward hill positioned right between C.C.'s cotton candy cottage and the forest off to the northwest. Despite carrying another cookie in her arms, C.C. practically weighed nothing to Chili as she bolted through the greenery. And as she drew near the hill, she painted the grass red with enormous swathes of chili sauce as one thought repeatedly raced through her head.

_'Ohmigosh ohmigosh ohmigosh it's gonna work! It's really gonna work! Oh my GOSH!'_

Chili Pepper's thighs burned as she trekked up the hill's steep incline, but she was quick to reach the top where under the shade of a lone tree was a checkered blanket, as well as a large picnic basket in the middle of a mouth-watering smorgasbord of sweets. There were cupcakes, red velvet cake, flan, strawberry jellies smothered in whipped cream, rice cakes, popcorn drizzled with chocolate syrup, plates of flan, and a bottle of sparkling juice. She had worked hard to set up this wonderful little picnic lunch, and it paid off: C.C. was so floored that when Chili set her down, she slumped over back into her arms. Chili, of course, was more than happy to keep her steady.

"Oh... oh my goodness, you... you set up a picnic for... for me?!"

"Nah, I was gonna eat all of this and make you watch- DUH! Of course it's for us!" Chili teased, playfully slugging C.C. on the arm. "I uh... have something I want to tell you, and I thought it would help set the mood."

"Oh!" C.C. clasped a hand over her mouth, trembling as Chili bashfully averted her gaze and took her hand.

"I uh... you see, I read that letter you sent me. And I've got to say, it floored me! I mean... wow! It was so beautiful, poetic, and totally sappy... but in a good way." Chili giggled. "It really touched me. Touched me right in this stupid fiery heart of mine and I... just wanted you to know that I felt the same. And that I wanted to return the favor for such a beautiful letter and..." she slapped a gingerbread palm to her face, "UGH! I'm so bad with words!"

But her failings as a wordsmith made no difference to C.C. With a primal squeal of excitement, she pulled Chili close in a cookie-crumbling hug.

"Oh, Chili! You don't have to say anything, your intent shines brilliantly through this wonderful gesture! Thank you so much!"

And without any warning whatsoever, C.C. completely blew Chili's mind by planting a soft, sugary kiss on her kiss on her lips, a gesture that made the thief feel like she had been struck by lightning.

_"Whoa..."_

C.C. grabbed her hands and smiled sweetly up at her. "To think that one of my silly little love letters would be reciprocated... oh, what a lovely day! You truly DO have a sugary-sweet heart under all that spice and zest!"

"And you, uh..." Chili pinched one of C.C.'s cheeks, causing her to gasp and giggle in delight before she let go. "You have adorably chubby cheeks..." She cleared her throat and took a deep breath, trying to muster up her swagger before gesturing towards the picnic. "ANYWAY, why don't we sit down and enjoy our lunch? It's a beautiful day, and I'd love to appreciate it with a beautiful babe..."

C.C. giggled. "I would love to! Oh, thank you again!"

"Heh, no problem."

But before either cookie could take a seat, they felt the earth rumble beneath their feet. Both girls stared at each other in confusion as the rumbling slowly intensified.

"Uh, C.C.? Is... that an earthquake?"

"We don't get those around here..."

They looked towards the forest, and gasped in unison as an enormously round, destructively adorable bunny rabbit came bouncing out of the woods, splintering trees and tearing up the earth as she made a mad dash for the hill. And as she made her approach, she cried out in a booming, cutesy tone:

" **I SMEWW WICE CAKES!** _**I WANT WICE CAKES!**_ "

Chili and C.C. looked back at each other, and knew exactly what they had to do.

"RUN!"

With inhuman speed Chili snatched up the blanket and with a flourish of her arm, got every single bit of food and drink back into the basket, save for the rice cakes. After tossing out the rest of the rice cakes that were in the basket, she scooped both it and a swooning C.C. up in her arms and leaped down from the hill just in time for Moon Rabbit Cookie to smash the tree to bits and start devouring the rice cakes. 

**"MMM... YUMMY!"**

After eating her fill, the hulking moon rabbit shrank back down in size, leaving behind an adorably chubby little cookie in her place. Young Moon Rabbit cookie licked her lips, belched, and waddled away, cheerily humming to herself like nothing had happened.

"Phew!" Chili sighed with relief, "Got out of the danger zone just in time! But... uh, sorry about the rice cakes..."

"Oh, Chili!" C.C. gushed as she gave her new girlfriend another hug, "We still have plenty of food! And you were so cool under pressure, and brave to boot! Thank you for saving me..."

"No prob, babe. Now come on, let's finish that picnic already!"

The pair walked slowly back up the hill, hand-in-hand. And when they reached the top, Chili smiled softly as she looked back at the forest where she could only assume Matcha was resuming her little "People watching" habit.

_'Matcha, your advice worked wonders today. Thank you so much! And maybe... just maybe I'll return the favor and get you back with your family! C.C. sends letters to everyone, she could help us narrow them down...'_

But that would come later, right now she just wanted to focus on spending a great afternoon with the prettiest, sweetest cookie on the face of the planet...


End file.
